I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
