4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
