that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
