Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize