awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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