I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
