Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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