Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
