addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
