just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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