we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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