I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
