question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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