And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
