Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
