No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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