Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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