What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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