I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
