we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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