Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize