We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
