Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
How's work?
Spinning.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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