dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
