You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
