Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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