Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
