when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize