Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
now i know why i became what i already was.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
