ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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