I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
