You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
