What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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