did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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