You're completely useless in the revolution.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
