Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
