I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
