Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
