I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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