Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
