I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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