ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
