Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
