Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
