Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Houston, we have a blender
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize