The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
