btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
