I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize