I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
