he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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