Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
