all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
