My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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