Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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