we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You're like the curious george of whores
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
