I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't think brook has ever known best
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
