I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
